prostitourettes:

you came to the right neighborhood here take some lemonade

82,657 notes - 3 days ago

tympanista:

*comes to meet you at Starbucks 15 minutes late with Starbucks from another location*

329,087 notes - 3 days ago

  • me about to talk in public: *rehearses what im going to say 50 times in my brain*
  • me: today how you are
  • 407,919 notes - 3 days ago

cartel:

What if everything was just a bad dream and you wake up to a perfect life

489,001 notes - 3 days ago

intensional:

"you can choose your own groups for this project"

image

224,416 notes - 4 days ago

kite117:

And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your talking dog
fucknodoms:

I HAVE A HUGE COCK AND I PLAY HOCKEY LMAO FOREVER

officialunitedstates:

"What does the chef recommend?"

"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"

392,704 notes - 4 days ago

bootsi:

I won’t take selfies with other people y’all don’t know my angles

399,527 notes - 4 days ago

pizzapriince:

following back everyone until i find a tumblr gf♡
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